#now I'm sleepy and stressed

[icewindandboringhorror]

... why he sit like this

[halinski]

rant in tags about perscription medication and withdrawals

continued here bc i reached tag limit and i'm still??

it's kinda scary tbh

like i was scared for years now of what would happen off my meds and

when i tried tapering off my antidepressants oof i was breaking down every day and now i /know/ i'm dependant on them and idk if that's better or worse

and with the antipsychotics it's like i thought they were helping my depression too bc when tapering off i was also so panicked and depressed (tho my situation is kinda stressful rn)

but idk i've been trying meds on and off for half my life now and most of the time i'm like 🤷

but the truth is

it's fucking scary how it messes with your body

it's fucking scary when you're dependant on a pill

OR ALSO

when pills fuck your body up to the point you can only eat one thing

bc that's the reason i'm going off the antipsychotics and guess what, i'm able to eat more again now

idk if it's just in combination with the hormon pill tbh i'm just going off both now and we'll see how my iron levels and migrains deal lmao

i feel like i can't think straight anymore

gonna have to get new docs anyway so we'll see what they say if(/when) i go anemic again or if going off the antipsychotics will actually fix the issue??

if so, then it'll be like how did this sneak up on me, i've been taking them for 2.5 years like

??

and now i've lost 20lbs despite trying everything to maintain or gain some the past year and a half and i'm at my lowest weight since i was like a preteen lol

and that's all bc of a med that didn't feel like it had an acute effect

or maybe i'm so removed from my body i didn't notice until i got the acute gastritis ??

i mean i can't even be sure its the meds or not until i'm off

and tapering the rest off is gonna be so fun fuck

i dont wanna

i wanna be able to eat more than bread i guess but at this point the thought just scares me and like i associate it with pain and nausea

which as long as i can manage it is fine

but i've only tapered off half, i still have to taper off the other half of the dosage 😭

and with the hormon pill gone again the worst menstrual pain will be back and idk how to manage that, i guess hopefully with the meds gone i won't go anemic again but who knows at this point??

also praying my migraines don't come back but uh... i am pessimistic. i don't have much hope

anyway

moral of the story.....

ALWAYS MAKE SURE TO TAPER OFF YOUR MEDS KIDS BC EVEN JUST TAPERING IS SCARY AND GOING COLD CHICKEN IS PROBABLY HELL

doctors can be annoying (and make things harder, like in my case bc i literally asked if it could be my current meds MONTHS ago, and everyone was like noooooo but guess who was RIGHT) sometimes BUUUUT you should listen to them avout certain things

like

tapering off meds

[stillresolved]

.

[jils-things]

whoahghmm..... home and im so tuckered out

[vulpinesaint]

local literature major horrified to find out that he has to read for homework

[esteemedcrackpot]

Play Report: Ocean Tides

I've played two sessions of this delightful firebrands hack now and I'm absolutely obsessed, I think every game should have a truth or dare minigame. And the whole vibe is just *chef's kiss*. Since I can't stop thinking about our blorbos, I have decided to write up a play report.

Setup:

The sea is deep, ancient, and unpredictable. The climate is tropical. Humans live on an archipelago with only a few large "mainland" islands, but countless small ones spread in between. Magic is mostly limited to that which allows mermaids and humans to pass between land and sea, but some dabble in stronger, more dangerous forces. And who knows what power may be found in the depths?

Pirates are lawless brigands who seek notoriety and fortune. The pirate code is: them that find the treasure, get the treasure; don't wake a sailor sleeping on land; and, perhaps most importantly, the rules are more of guidelines.

Naval Officers serve the Empire Republic of Many Isles, and fly flags in shades of red (it has more positive associations after all). Deeply religious. Their own code demands that the first cut go to the shore, the second to the ship, and the third to the Sea Mistress.

Merfolk are nudibranch people, with bright colors and varied forms. Most villages are in shallow waters such as atolls. When merfolk walk on land, they are usually obvious, sporting legs but retaining their colors and some of their form in fins, tentacles, or even a reduced tail.

Our cast:

B'har (it/its) a mercurial and ethereal mermaid with very pale orange and white striped markings, tentacles on its face, frills around its neck, and a long tail with many scars. New to humans and rather fascinated by them.

John Finch (he/him) the pirate. Legally distinct from Jack Sparrow, probably, maybe. Captain of the Silver Oyster, he always expects his reputation will have preceded him (it usually hasn't).

Captain Monk Ghanan Sreal (they/them) the "humble" and naive naval officer. Captains a great ship cathedral. Received orders to find a religious relic (the spear of the mother) but has abandoned the mission. Instead seeks the teeth of the abyss-walker, the devilish figure of their religion supposedly vanquished many years ago.

Session one under the cut!

As suggested, we started with Monologues. They definitely helped us find our starting point, but I have chosen to integrate the relevant info with character bios or other story beats as needed. In play, we each chose one mini game, and slowly built up some promising plot threads.

The Great Hunt:

Captain Monk Sreal heard rumors of a huge beast that damaged Sunspot Atoll, a mermaid village. They met B'har and learned of the creature's path, then tracked it into the deep, craggy canyons offshore. After a bit of cat and mouse, there was a fierce battle. Both Ghanan and the beast survived, but the scale of the beast and costs of hunting it were greater than Ghanan expected. In the following weeks, they increased frequency of deep sea excursions with the aid of a volatile potion that allows humans to stand the pressure. The mounting toll on their health is of little concern to Ghanan on their quest for the abyss-walker's teeth. Or the abyss-walker itself, as it now seems.

Truth or Dare:

Some time post-hunt, our three characters meet on a beach. They share some drinks around a fire and eventually begin the human game, truth or dare. Memories are a bit...hazy of this night. Surely there were some minor truths divulged? Perhaps some harmless dares? B'har thinks it showed off its tail scars at some point, but mostly remembers the end of the night. John wasted a dare on getting B'har to skinny dip; no matter, shedding the magic legs and plunging into the sea was a relief, and The Officer soon joined. The Officer, with their moon-touched skin webbed nearly all over with dark, intricate tattoos of great sea beasts. The Officer, floating comfortably in the water even without fins. Quickly, B'har turned and challenged John Finch-taste the lips of the one here you most desire, be they willing. John disrobed and plunged into the water himself, splashing over to the pair. And kissed B'har! Fascinating.

A Dance:

After a little time, Sunspot Atoll finished clean up efforts and held a party to celebrate. B'har invited both John and Ghanan. All attended dressed their best. Well, "dressed" in the case of B'har, merfolk aren't wild about clothing as such, but various pieces of jewelry adorned its body, including many shell chains and fine coral beads, and even one pendant clearly fashioned from an old human artifact. Ghanan wore an elaborate outfit covered in bells. John Finch was less fancy, but sported an excellent hat. He soon wandered off to the drinks and largely spent the night telling strangers his tales of adventure. Meanwhile, B'har and Ghanan danced together in the midst of a whirl of colorful merfolk. B'har gently corrected for Ghanan's missteps in the unfamiliar dances and (mostly) prevented excessive bell jingling at odd moments. The two flirted throughout, but stopped short of making any overt moves. At some point in the night, Ghanan gifted B'har with a bracelet.

That's where we called session one for time. And it's where I'm going to call this post for now! Stay tuned if you want to hear about our second session, hopefully coming soon to a reblog near you.

[spiderwarden]

I came, I tried to do a big reply, couldn't. now I sleep.

[imwritesometimes]

falling asleep on the couch at 7pm on new years eve only to be constantly awoken by assholes doing fireworks already. happy new year 😑🙃

[karofsky]

earlyish sleep and setting an alarm... I will be a functioning human this week but today definitely was a Getting Other Things Done day and not an Art Day

[girlscience]

making funny haha jokes to myself like "oh i'm doing so fine" *extreme side eye from the dishes in my sink*..... only to finally do my dishes tonight and discover all my tupperware have become their own microbiomes. fuck

[hatake]

.

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

HFKSHIDJDJ I really, really enjoy reading your ramblings in the tags after I finish reading your writings :∆

hehe thank you it's where i put all the unorganized thoughts that i couldn't fit into the writing/brainrot itself :D i am glad you find them enjoyable :)

[areyoudoingthis]

i hate the "what would actually be better for me right now going out or staying home and resting" self care dichotomy because i never fucking know what the right answer is

[pinkanonhopes]

why is it so hard to do things

[just-slightly-chaotic]

<3

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Facing a very rough patch called "I didn't get out of cosplay when I came home and now I'm still all dressed up and falling asleep"